Best Three Things to Say to People that ask when you’re going to have kids

First let me say, this is a post that might offend some parents and the people that ask this type of question (usually its people that are currently pregnant or have kids already – hence the parents).  It is not my intention to offend at all (however it might happen).  I do apologize to anyone that I offend.

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This is a topic that is a constant annoyance and I wanted to put it out there in the hopes that people will understand just how annoying it is to constantly be asked or have to hear “When are you going to have kids?” or “Are you planning to have kids?” “How long have you been married – oh, no kids yet?” or  “Do you want kids?”  I could go on with all the things I’ve heard.  Honestly this really is the thing that bothers me the most – sure I’m bothered by the lack of a clear vision for climate change or when ‘men’ leave the toilet seat up, but being asked about when I plan to have kids is the highest bother on my list of things that bother me.

I don’t have kids.  Would I like them – YES, more than you can imagine.  Will kids be a possibility for me – NO, I don’t think they will.  That is something that I have to deal with on a daily basis.  It’s painful.  It’s heart wrenching.  I just wished that people would realize that there are so many reasons, many of them personal, as to why people might not have children and that they keep their mouth shut.

 

So in order to minimize my pain, I try and find the humor and think of the greatest things to say to the people that ask me these questions.  It might not be the best way to deal with it but it really shuts up the ‘stupid’ people and their questions.

1.  Kids?  Yikes that would screw with my sex life.  Don’t want to mess with that.

2.  I have kids.  Their names are Penny and Mars.  I have to feed them, walk them and love them.

3.  When world peace has been achieved.

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