Best Three Things to Say to People that ask when you’re going to have kids

First let me say, this is a post that might offend some parents and the people that ask this type of question (usually its people that are currently pregnant or have kids already – hence the parents).  It is not my intention to offend at all (however it might happen).  I do apologize to anyone that I offend.

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This is a topic that is a constant annoyance and I wanted to put it out there in the hopes that people will understand just how annoying it is to constantly be asked or have to hear “When are you going to have kids?” or “Are you planning to have kids?” “How long have you been married – oh, no kids yet?” or  “Do you want kids?”  I could go on with all the things I’ve heard.  Honestly this really is the thing that bothers me the most – sure I’m bothered by the lack of a clear vision for climate change or when ‘men’ leave the toilet seat up, but being asked about when I plan to have kids is the highest bother on my list of things that bother me.

I don’t have kids.  Would I like them – YES, more than you can imagine.  Will kids be a possibility for me – NO, I don’t think they will.  That is something that I have to deal with on a daily basis.  It’s painful.  It’s heart wrenching.  I just wished that people would realize that there are so many reasons, many of them personal, as to why people might not have children and that they keep their mouth shut.

 

So in order to minimize my pain, I try and find the humor and think of the greatest things to say to the people that ask me these questions.  It might not be the best way to deal with it but it really shuts up the ‘stupid’ people and their questions.

1.  Kids?  Yikes that would screw with my sex life.  Don’t want to mess with that.

2.  I have kids.  Their names are Penny and Mars.  I have to feed them, walk them and love them.

3.  When world peace has been achieved.

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Best Three Life Tips

There are some things that as a child that your parents don’t tell you (and I can’t blame them) because it seems to be something that you have to experience for yourself.  I’m talking about getting up everyday and going to work.  Having to earn a living.  Having to interact with people that are very different compared to you and how to handle the situations that work throws out to you.  These are the things that you cannot learn from someone but really need to live them and experience them for yourself.

That is why I love to decorate my work space with uplifting life tips (I print mine off from http://www.tipstagram.com/).  When we look at studies on work place stress, the numbers (unfortunately are rising) and that is not good.  Our mental health is as important as our physical health.  Workplaces invest so much money in ensuring they are building a healthy workplace but they forget the mental health piece.   My life tips are around me because when I have a bad day, its easy to sit back in my chair, swirl around and look at those tips.  For some reason, seeing them writen just helps me put things into perspective.  I also even send them to my family, friends and co-workers when I know they are having a bad day. 

1.  It’s OK to make mistakes.

2.  Value the lessons your mistakes teach you.

3. Think positively.

 

It really is ok to make mistakes.  We’re human.  However when you are at work, you don’t always find that same mentally is shared and that is why I have it around me to remind me.  I will make mistakes and that is ok. 

For my second choice, its around those mistakes – learn from them.  That will help you and others around you.  People hate making the same mistake twice and I can completely agree.  We can’t undervalue mistakes.  You make one, now learn from it, move on and do want needs to be done. 

The last life tip is a hard one for me.  Think Positively.  This is something that I struggle with constantly.  I try and try and then try again.  It always seems easier to think negatively than positively but I need to make that change because that change will trickle down and hopefully it will make me a better person. 

 

Best Three Things that I’m Thankful For

As I get older I’ve begun to look back on my life and realize that I’m truly a blessed person.  I don’t use the word as a religious term but one that I use to help describe the amount of things in my life that I’m thankful for.  In context, there are still lots of things I don’t have but as the years start to climb, I’ve realized that they are just things – things I want but not things I necessarily need.  However, the things that I’m thankful for are truly the things that I need and want in my life.

In a society that is materialistic, vain and consumer driven, its nice to step back from all of that and simply look at my life and see the things that I would be devastated without and the things that I wouldn’t even notice were missing if they were.  That is why I’ve dedicated this post to the best three things that I’m thankful for.

1.  My family

2. The roof over my head and food in my belly

3.  My freedom

I think a lot of people would have their family as the first thing to be thankful for – so I’m not alone.  I have to say it (and I know other may disagree) but my family is the greatest.

I have been blessed with a father and mother who are the epitome of the ultimate parents.  They have raised me, clothed me, fed me and loved me.  They allowed me to grow, allowed me to make good and bad choices – while always there in the background when I needed them.  They always put my needs before their own.  They taught me manners, values, ethics.  They believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself.  They encouraged me, guided me and provided me with every opportunity they could.  They are what every parents should be and I’m lucky to have them.  My siblings, I know would echo my words and sentiments.

I was also blessed with an older brother and sister.  A brother that was always interested in showing me all the things out there in the world and of course an older sister that always looked out for me and is not only a sister but also my best friend.

Full Siblings

Full Siblings (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have also been lucky to find the love of my life and someone that rounds out my family.  He means everything to me and there is not a day that goes by that I’m not thankful that he had the patience to wait for me because I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

The second thing that I’m thankful for is the roof over my head (my house) and the food in my belly.  I once went to a lecture that a local university was sponsoring about the life of a Holocaust survivor.  I can still remember the silence of the room as an older man took to the stage and looked up at the audience and said “None of you know what its like to be so hungry, to be humiliated, to have everything taken away…”   They were words I never forgot.  He went on to talk about being hungry and as he talked, he broke down and started crying.  I never forgot that.  That is why I’m thankful to have a house that shelters me from the elements and I’m so thankful that I have never had to feel hungry.

The last thing that I’m thankful for is my freedom.  There is nothing else I can say to that.